Motion Controls

Since the epic launch of the Nintendo Wii all the way back in December 2006, Motion control has become a very disputed issue in the gaming industry. The Wii has become the platform to beat this generation and it has left its competitors in the dust with a whopping 50 million consoles sold as of this post. Motion control and the Wii's unique controller have certainly played a massive hand in making this possible.

Nintendo had decided to innovate instead of going with the flow of its competitors this time around. The Wii remote was the result of this process. This new way to play games has presented endless possibilities to developers and gamers, because of this the regular consumer have overwhelmingly supported the Wii console.

But when there is success, the competition will take note and try to take their own share of this prosperity...

Hit the jump to continue.

This is what worries me. Motion control is a great thing to happen to the gaming industry and the Wii platform caters for this efficiently. After all the console was designed from the ground up for this purpose. The Wii offers new experiences for all demographics from the casual to the hardcore and this is easy to notice when you observe its game library. All in all, the game system works perfectly for what it is intended to do.

The other consoles on the market, (X360, PS3) were not designed for this feature. These consoles hardware were designed specifically for the hardcore in mind and their controllers are traditional with regular face buttons and sticks. These systems work perfectly for what they are trying to offer as well.

The problem is, there are always constant rumours at this stage of the year (E3 time) suggesting and stating that the Xbox 360 or PlayStation 3 are having motion controllers developed for them to directly compete with the Wii. I can very well understand the reasoning behind a move like that but that does not mean I have to agree with it.

Now from here you were probably just thinking that I'm another Nintendo Fanboy complaining about how Microsoft and Sony are trying to copy Nintendo's ideas. That is simply not true. I am complaining because I bought my Wii console for Motion Controlled games specifically in mind. I did not buy my Xbox 360 for motion controls. I happen to be stuck in the middle of this whole console war charade.

I just so happen to love both control methods. The Wii motion controls are fantastic at representing new gameplay experiences, genres and settings. The motion plus add-on also excites me with the new possibilities once again being presented to us. The 360 controllers are also damn fantastic! The traditional control input works perfectly as it molds to my hands, the button placement is excellent and most of all it gets the bloody job done.



So I pose this question to you: What is fucking wrong with sticking to the functions that your console was intended to be used with in the first place!? All this talk and commotion about other consoles having motion controls is just ludicrous. I bought my fucking 360 because it was hardcore designed and it had regular, traditional controls. Maybe I want to play a generic shooter pressing buttons instead of swinging my arms wildly to shoot! If I want to go out of space, jumping on friggen goombas or throwing giant turtles into lava by waggling my arms I will go and play my damn Wii!

The Wii is meant to be different, that's why it has a different consumer base and demographic! The 360 and PS3 are meant to be what they were designed for too. Don't change your consoles from having a hardcore twosome to a casual threesome! (If you are a little slow YES that was meant to sound sexual) Stick to what your console is good at! DO NOT CHANGE! YOU HEAR ME!

I bought my 360 because it is a 360! I bought my Wii because it is a Wii! If I hear some announcement at E3 from any company trying to copy its competitor mid generation with motion controls, people are going to get seriously hurt!!!! Look i've resorted to fucking empty threats now! Look what you have done! It is all your fault.

To re-iterate one more time: Each console is great for what it is, Don't change that mid generation you money grabbing, thieving, corporate prick assholes!!!

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Abusing Downloadable Content

In recent years video game developers and publishers have been able to provide us extensions to the games we all know and love thanks to the wonders of modern technology and the internet. This is known as Downloadable Content. (DLC)

Downloadable Content involves purchasing extensions and add-ons for games that you already own. The DLC will usually come at a price but in some instances it can be free of charge. The DLC is paid for using either a credit card, pre paid card or a redeemable code and it is bought through an online service (e.g Xbox Live) and it is then downloaded to a hard drive ready for you to use.

In theory DLC is a great way to extend and prolong the life of video games and believe me in many cases it is very effective and enjoyable. It's when big companies decide to abuse this ability is when Downloadable Content Suffers.

Many companies now use DLC as a way to milk every single cent out of its consumer. This is achieved by taking content out of a game that should be included in the final retail product but instead of that they offer it as DLC and of course it is at a price. Many companies find this way effective in returning a greater profit without any extra effort. Sure it's great for the company but all us consumers find ourselves getting consistently screwed over all the time.

One thing that frustrates the hell out of me is when I find that Downloadable Content is available the first day a game is released and that I have to pay for it. Why couldn't the company include the friggen DLC in the retail disc? Is an extra $5 really worth screwing over your customer for? Apparently it is worth it.

Sometimes it is acceptable if the DLC is of a substantial amount but when certain pieces are deliberately taken out of the game instead of being added really pisses me off. Why should I have to pay for a crappy gun or car that should already be included? That is just blatant money grabbing and for big companies to have to resort to this kind of thing is disgraceful.

Developers and Publishers take Downloadable content out of context. It is meant to be made after a game is released to prolong the gaming experience. It's not meant to be made during the development process. If it was made during that process add the fucking thing to the game! It is not hard.

And another thing. Why should I have to pay for any DLC in the first place? Isn't my $100 purchase of your god damn product good enough for you. The added content is meant to reward me for my purchase. It wasn't intended to be made to screw your customers over with extra fees. Who the hell came up with the idea for having to pay for extra content? If I find out who you are I will track you down and cut you!

There is one company in particular that shoves another form of DLC down your throat. The company is called Microsoft (you may of heard of them) and they cram Micro Transactions into your face.

Micro-transactions are similar to DLC but it doesn't involve in-game content. It is non critical items like pictures or themes that Microsoft makes you pay for even though the crap should be free. This is occurring more and more frequently. Why should I spend my hard earned cash on a shitty 50x50 pixel picture when it should cost nothing at all?



Microsoft are the kings of making their customers pay more. Xbox Live costs money, new themes for their console costs money, hell even gamer pictures cost money. Anything the company can think of, they make you pay for and most of the things don't deserve one cent of your money. No wonder half of Microsoft's name is in Micro Transactions. They pretty much own the system.

Now with the New Xbox Experience (NXE) finally launched on Microsoft's gaming platform, there are new features (or borrowed features) available for us all to use. One borrowed feature is called Avatars which as the name states is your own customisable character. The one thing I noticed with them is that there was a shortage of items that I could customise my Avatar with. Then it hit me. Microsoft is delaying items so they can offer them later on as Micro Transactions that cost money. Sure enough I was right and the items will be available at a cost later in the future. NOW THAT IS COMPLETE BULLSHIT!

Now sure I have been fairly hard on Microsoft with this issue but they deserve the criticism they get. They are true entrepreneurs when it comes to sucking every drop of cash out of their customers. There are also other companies that are almost as bad as Microsoft. EA YOU BASTARDS I AM LOOKING AT YOU!!!

It makes me want to fucking go on a massive rampage and take down all the assholes that made DLC such a money graber for companies. DLC is a great concept but as usual it has been used, abused and has had its face wiped by peoples anal region. It is simply NOT GOOD ENOUGH!!

Also if you are wondering why I care so much on this pointless issue, well the answer is: I simply have no life.

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UGO acquires Video Game Site 1UP.com

In an event that has rocked the Video Game Media industry and many gamers in general, it has been confirmed that online media mogul UGO Entertainment have acquired the respected gaming site 1up.com. This event has not come out of the blue as many gaming sites have reported rumours of this move occuring for several weeks.

Normally something like this would not affect a website at all except for a couple of minor behind the scenes reworks. But this is not the case for beloved gaming site 1up.

As a result of Ziff Davis selling the network to UGO, 1up (and its other sites on the network) have suffered MAJOR EMPLOYEE LAYOFFS. Many experienced veterans and young rookies at the site have seen their jobs axed and are now looking for employment elsewhere. This has caused a major outcry from fans of the site who have threatened to now boycott the site all together.

In my opinion this move from UGO to purchase the network was not the right decision. Laying off some of the most beloved employees of the site and removing many fan favourite features due to their reworking strategy of the site was a stupid and idiotic idea. The site will now become generic and dull as 1up's very soul and identity has been axed and destroyed. People did not go there for just for basic news articles, they went there because of the brutal honesty of the authors on both news and reviews, they went there for the podcasts and other major features that UGO has decided to withdraw, piss on and shove away up their fat assholes.

I would like to send my best regards to the following people from 1up who are now unemployed and looking for work. I wish these people a happy, successful and prosperous future:

Adrian Frieg
Amy Mishra
Amy Moran
Andrea Garcia
Andrew Fitch
Andrew "Skip" Pfister
Anthony Gallegos
Cesar Quintero
Christina Rosa
CoyLou Steel
Derek Chinn
Doug Parsons
Eric Ellis
Giancarlo Varanini
Greg Ford
James "Milkman" Mielke
Jason Bertrand
Jason Wilson
Jervilyn Jaramillo
Justin Frechette
Leslie Gelfand
Marci Yamaguchi
Matt Chandronait
May Tong
Meredith Stowe
Michael Donahoe
Monique Convertito
Ndubuisi Madu
Nick Suttner
Norris Boothe
Philip Kollar
Rey Serrano
Robert Bowen
Rosemary Pinkham
Ryan O'Donnell
Ryan Scott
Shane Bettenhausen
Simon Cox
Tammy Ross
Tipler Ubbelohde

On a final note. I would personally like to say FUCK YOU to the owners of UGO ENTERTAINMENT. You have single handedly destroyed one of the most honest and respected gaming sites on the internet. Go suck your mum's hairy balls and shove your head back up her massive, loose, gaping hole!

Looks like I and many others are stuck with the wonderful Kotaku. That is definitely not a bad thing but having 1up combined with it was spectacular.

I refuse to support the shittest, most biased and money bribed sites Gamespot and IGN. They can GO AND GET FUCKED BY THEIR DAD!

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Sonic Unleashed Disappointment

I just thought I would quickly voice my disappointment on Sonic's latest gaming outing on all major consoles.

You all have no doubt heard of Sonic The Hedgehog and his latest game sonic unleashed. The game had a great amount of potential and for once the outlook of Sonic's future looked bright. It seemed Sega finally decided to get off their butts and create a game that the gaming community wanted.

BUT...

Once again Sega found a way to screw up like usual. They decided to come up with yet ANOTHER gimmick for their sonic games. A gimmick that takes out the whole pace of the game and renders it into a slow, useless and most of all unenjoyable beat-em-up. The worst thing about this that even though the game is divided evenly in day and night sections guess which sections go longer? That's right the night ones. That just PROVES how slow and god damn boring these parts to the game are.

It just frustrates me so much and I know I am not alone in thinking this that Sega just does not learn from their mistakes. Every time Sega messes with a simple formula it hasn't ever once worked for them. So why keep insisting on adding a gimmick? The fans hate them, the community hates them and most of all reviewers hate them. SO DON'T BUT THE PIECES OF SHIT IN THE GAME!!

The game has one section that absolutely shines and that is its fast and intense day time levels. It is everything the whole game should have been. It works on a basic premise and that is what sonic is all about. Speed! Sonic flying through stages at a frenetic pace is the whole foundation of the series. Sure in unleashed even those stages have some problems (Mainly with the slow reaction time while trying to jump) but they can be overlooked because those sections are so much fun to play.

How can a company fuck up making such a simple game. All the gaming community wants is a sonic game that is fast, smooth and linear. THAT IS ALL!

FOR FUCKS SAKE SEGA HOW MANY FAILED GAMES DOES IT TAKE FOR YOU TO GET THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULL THAT NOBODY LIKES THE PIECES OF SHIT SONIC GAMES YOU KEEP PRODUCING!!!



I can't wait to play the next sonic game where Sega gives sonic the ability to turn into an electric drill so he can burrow screws into pieces of wood. Hey don't laugh Sega will probably think that is a great idea and add it into the next game.

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Mii Business Cards in Japan. WTF!

"Lucky" Nintendo Wii owners in Japan are now able to purchase personalised Mii Business cards via Japan's local Club Nintendo service. It requires the Japan exclusive Digicam Print Channel and 150 valuable Club Nintendo Points. You will then recieve 30 legitimate (yes they are physically real) cards through the mail.

Now this begs a very logical question: "WHO THE HELL WOULD WANT A FRIGGEN MII BUSINESS CARD IN THE FIRST PLACE?" Honestly what possible use could these business cards have to anyone? No sane person would have these printed out to actually use for their business.

Hit the jump to continue:



Imagine someone actually did use these legitimately and they handed a client one of these cards. The client would look at the person and say: "You sir are officially a Homosexual fagget."

I guess these cards are meant for five year olds or reclusive loners. Hey maybe I should get one then?

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Youtube Video of the Week (Dec W3)

Before I talk about the video I would just like to apologise to the one or maybe two people that have actually looked at this blog. Lately I have been very busy with my god damn studies at school and I haven't exactly been able to make many posts at all except for the Video of the Week segments. From next week onwards I will have much more free time and I will be able to return to writing my truthful and aggressive articles. So to you one or two people that read the shit that I write my apoligies but things will get back to normal.

Ok now onto the video. This video is entitled Another Wii Sports Casualty.

Video after the break:

Back in 2006 when the Wii was first released many complaints from people arose about their wii remotes flying into their TV's. These people obviously had no hand-eye co-ordination and they were what the industry calls N0obs.(extremely hardout ones). It is a joke that someone couldn't wear a wrist strap and that they were so gumby this situation became a reality. Well... this video is of a fat asshole who happens to do the unthinkable to his t.v.

Enjoy watching him jiggle and then make sure you laugh at his pain:

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Youtube Video Of The Week (Nov W3)

Now I have come across many funny videos in my time but this particular video may be the funniest I have encountered for quite a while. I don't know what it is but this video has an amazing and hilarious vibe coming from it and to be honest it really shouldn't be funny at all. BUT THIS VIDEO IS HILARIOUS!!! (In My Opinion anyway)

This weeks video is entitled Nigga stole my bike. It is an incredibly stupid video but that just adds to the appeal. Enjoy!

Video after the jump:




Note: No I am not racist :P

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Video Game Fanboys

If I had to pick the worst thing about the gaming community, Fanboys would be at the top of the list.

Before I start my rant I should tell you what exactly a fanboy is. A fanboy is a person that loves their gaming console or video game so much that they must let their bias opinions be heard. This mainly occurs in the form of comments on major gaming websites and gaming publications.

Now from the definition I gave you a fanboy might not sound that bad at all but believe me they are. A typical fanboy comment will entail an incredible amount of praise towards their favourite product (ie console, game) but it is usually at another console or games expense. The comment will consist of an unfair comparison of a game/console which results in a bias outcome turning to a fanboy's favour.

A fanboy will also go out of their way to insult an opposing console or an opposing fanboy at all costs and for no reason at all. There is no explanation to why this occurs and the insults often come from no where and are found in the most unexpected places.

To show you what I am talking about here is a fanboy comment extracted from an article on IGN:

GET $ONY'S NUTS OUT YOUR MOUTH!!! YOU GARBAGESTATION 3 FANBOY!

Comment by SuprSlyDarknell

Now believe it or not this comment was made over a gears of war 2 review. See what I mean? There was no reason for a comment like that to be made at all and it was totally inappropriate. I honestly would like to know what goes through a fanboy's mind when they post these completely stupid comments.

Why does a fanboy find it necessary to talk absolute crap about another console? It is only a machine. It is not alive and breathing it is only a piece of metal. It boggles the mind that a human being can love a video game console so much that they need to defend it at all costs. Why can't people just accept that each console has its own advantages, disadvantages, great games and bad games?

People need to move on and stop wasting their lives in the comment section of websites. Fanboy's act like they are at war arguing to a point where people like myself just get pissed off reading the obscene and abusive posts about nothing. All I want to see is honest opinions of other people on news and reviews and not this load of bullshit that a lot of us have to put up with.

Whoever came up with the term Console Wars can get fucked. It is not a war at all, it is merely a bunch of companies trying to make money. People aren't dying as much as people make it sound like they are. It is all about money full stop. There is no need for someone to defend a company they have no relation to at all. So just keep your friggen fanboy opinions to yourself.

Here is a comment I extracted which is also from IGN. It is the most truthful thing i have ever read on the subject and it needs to be read by everyone:

even if you win an argument about games on the internet, you still lose because you're arguing about games on the internet.

Comment by Pharoah_King

Fanboy's sensationalise the smallest of news articles and I have had enough. If a fanboy is reading this go and stick your dick into your consoles disc drive and spooge inside it if you haven't already.

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