Motion Controls

Since the epic launch of the Nintendo Wii all the way back in December 2006, Motion control has become a very disputed issue in the gaming industry. The Wii has become the platform to beat this generation and it has left its competitors in the dust with a whopping 50 million consoles sold as of this post. Motion control and the Wii's unique controller have certainly played a massive hand in making this possible.

Nintendo had decided to innovate instead of going with the flow of its competitors this time around. The Wii remote was the result of this process. This new way to play games has presented endless possibilities to developers and gamers, because of this the regular consumer have overwhelmingly supported the Wii console.

But when there is success, the competition will take note and try to take their own share of this prosperity...

Hit the jump to continue.

This is what worries me. Motion control is a great thing to happen to the gaming industry and the Wii platform caters for this efficiently. After all the console was designed from the ground up for this purpose. The Wii offers new experiences for all demographics from the casual to the hardcore and this is easy to notice when you observe its game library. All in all, the game system works perfectly for what it is intended to do.

The other consoles on the market, (X360, PS3) were not designed for this feature. These consoles hardware were designed specifically for the hardcore in mind and their controllers are traditional with regular face buttons and sticks. These systems work perfectly for what they are trying to offer as well.

The problem is, there are always constant rumours at this stage of the year (E3 time) suggesting and stating that the Xbox 360 or PlayStation 3 are having motion controllers developed for them to directly compete with the Wii. I can very well understand the reasoning behind a move like that but that does not mean I have to agree with it.

Now from here you were probably just thinking that I'm another Nintendo Fanboy complaining about how Microsoft and Sony are trying to copy Nintendo's ideas. That is simply not true. I am complaining because I bought my Wii console for Motion Controlled games specifically in mind. I did not buy my Xbox 360 for motion controls. I happen to be stuck in the middle of this whole console war charade.

I just so happen to love both control methods. The Wii motion controls are fantastic at representing new gameplay experiences, genres and settings. The motion plus add-on also excites me with the new possibilities once again being presented to us. The 360 controllers are also damn fantastic! The traditional control input works perfectly as it molds to my hands, the button placement is excellent and most of all it gets the bloody job done.



So I pose this question to you: What is fucking wrong with sticking to the functions that your console was intended to be used with in the first place!? All this talk and commotion about other consoles having motion controls is just ludicrous. I bought my fucking 360 because it was hardcore designed and it had regular, traditional controls. Maybe I want to play a generic shooter pressing buttons instead of swinging my arms wildly to shoot! If I want to go out of space, jumping on friggen goombas or throwing giant turtles into lava by waggling my arms I will go and play my damn Wii!

The Wii is meant to be different, that's why it has a different consumer base and demographic! The 360 and PS3 are meant to be what they were designed for too. Don't change your consoles from having a hardcore twosome to a casual threesome! (If you are a little slow YES that was meant to sound sexual) Stick to what your console is good at! DO NOT CHANGE! YOU HEAR ME!

I bought my 360 because it is a 360! I bought my Wii because it is a Wii! If I hear some announcement at E3 from any company trying to copy its competitor mid generation with motion controls, people are going to get seriously hurt!!!! Look i've resorted to fucking empty threats now! Look what you have done! It is all your fault.

To re-iterate one more time: Each console is great for what it is, Don't change that mid generation you money grabbing, thieving, corporate prick assholes!!!

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First Video (Prehistorik Man SNES Intro)

I finally got off my ass to produce STGamers first video. This video does not serve any particular importance and it was merely made as a test to see if I could upload videos to Youtube as smoothly as I wanted to and to the quality (HD) that I wanted.

The STGamer introduction was also tested here and it seems to work quite efficiently. One problem though was that the STGamer intro on the first two videos was not produced in HD like the rest of the video. This was due to a resolution error on my behalf. This has since been rectified and updated on the third uploaded video. (Red Steel 2 Debut Trailer)

The actual content of the video is of the SNES game Prehistorik Man by Titus. The introduction is only shown.The game was chosen for the "test" as it was one of my favourite games in the SNES library "back in the day". So I guess other than that it was just luck of the draw.


Regardless, enjoy the quick video. The intro actually isn't half bad once you get passed the jibbering for speech.

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Abusing Downloadable Content

In recent years video game developers and publishers have been able to provide us extensions to the games we all know and love thanks to the wonders of modern technology and the internet. This is known as Downloadable Content. (DLC)

Downloadable Content involves purchasing extensions and add-ons for games that you already own. The DLC will usually come at a price but in some instances it can be free of charge. The DLC is paid for using either a credit card, pre paid card or a redeemable code and it is bought through an online service (e.g Xbox Live) and it is then downloaded to a hard drive ready for you to use.

In theory DLC is a great way to extend and prolong the life of video games and believe me in many cases it is very effective and enjoyable. It's when big companies decide to abuse this ability is when Downloadable Content Suffers.

Many companies now use DLC as a way to milk every single cent out of its consumer. This is achieved by taking content out of a game that should be included in the final retail product but instead of that they offer it as DLC and of course it is at a price. Many companies find this way effective in returning a greater profit without any extra effort. Sure it's great for the company but all us consumers find ourselves getting consistently screwed over all the time.

One thing that frustrates the hell out of me is when I find that Downloadable Content is available the first day a game is released and that I have to pay for it. Why couldn't the company include the friggen DLC in the retail disc? Is an extra $5 really worth screwing over your customer for? Apparently it is worth it.

Sometimes it is acceptable if the DLC is of a substantial amount but when certain pieces are deliberately taken out of the game instead of being added really pisses me off. Why should I have to pay for a crappy gun or car that should already be included? That is just blatant money grabbing and for big companies to have to resort to this kind of thing is disgraceful.

Developers and Publishers take Downloadable content out of context. It is meant to be made after a game is released to prolong the gaming experience. It's not meant to be made during the development process. If it was made during that process add the fucking thing to the game! It is not hard.

And another thing. Why should I have to pay for any DLC in the first place? Isn't my $100 purchase of your god damn product good enough for you. The added content is meant to reward me for my purchase. It wasn't intended to be made to screw your customers over with extra fees. Who the hell came up with the idea for having to pay for extra content? If I find out who you are I will track you down and cut you!

There is one company in particular that shoves another form of DLC down your throat. The company is called Microsoft (you may of heard of them) and they cram Micro Transactions into your face.

Micro-transactions are similar to DLC but it doesn't involve in-game content. It is non critical items like pictures or themes that Microsoft makes you pay for even though the crap should be free. This is occurring more and more frequently. Why should I spend my hard earned cash on a shitty 50x50 pixel picture when it should cost nothing at all?



Microsoft are the kings of making their customers pay more. Xbox Live costs money, new themes for their console costs money, hell even gamer pictures cost money. Anything the company can think of, they make you pay for and most of the things don't deserve one cent of your money. No wonder half of Microsoft's name is in Micro Transactions. They pretty much own the system.

Now with the New Xbox Experience (NXE) finally launched on Microsoft's gaming platform, there are new features (or borrowed features) available for us all to use. One borrowed feature is called Avatars which as the name states is your own customisable character. The one thing I noticed with them is that there was a shortage of items that I could customise my Avatar with. Then it hit me. Microsoft is delaying items so they can offer them later on as Micro Transactions that cost money. Sure enough I was right and the items will be available at a cost later in the future. NOW THAT IS COMPLETE BULLSHIT!

Now sure I have been fairly hard on Microsoft with this issue but they deserve the criticism they get. They are true entrepreneurs when it comes to sucking every drop of cash out of their customers. There are also other companies that are almost as bad as Microsoft. EA YOU BASTARDS I AM LOOKING AT YOU!!!

It makes me want to fucking go on a massive rampage and take down all the assholes that made DLC such a money graber for companies. DLC is a great concept but as usual it has been used, abused and has had its face wiped by peoples anal region. It is simply NOT GOOD ENOUGH!!

Also if you are wondering why I care so much on this pointless issue, well the answer is: I simply have no life.

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STG Review: Wario Land: The Shake Dimension

The following is the first ever Sharpie The Gamer review of a video game. I have some spare time on my hands and I plan to write plenty more of these in the future.

Sure this game has been out for quite some time now but that does not mean it shouldn't warrant a review. In fact most of my reviews will be based on titles that have been circling around for a while so I have a firm understanding of the game and I won't let hype judge my independent decision. In other words I haven't had any money thrown at me to persuade my point of view in the developers/publishers favour. (unlike most major publications today) This is actually my raw opinion which is an advantage for independent bloggers.

The first game up is Wario Land: The Shake Dimension for the Wii. This review is quite detailed and a fair bit of effort was made on this material. So you better BLOODY ENJOY IT! That one pedo who reads this blog i'm talking to you!

Hit the detailed review after the jump...





Wario Land: The Shake Dimension is a modern take on classic 2D platforming gameplay. It is a game that takes direct inspiration from previous old-school titles and incorporates subtle features to adapt it for a new generation of gamers. Strangely enough this game offers an experience that still remains fresh despite the fact it has had so many similar titles in the same genre in past history.

The Shake Dimension is a title that does not try to pretend it is something that it's not. The developers intentions from the beginning was to develop a classic old-school 2D platformer that would trigger nostalgia from many of its players. This is one of the games major strengths and this is an area where it really succeeds.

The games storyline is very basic which is no different from many Nintendo titles through the past 20 years. The game begins in the land of Yuretopia where "The Shake King" magically appears and commits the deed of theft and takes the sacred Bottomless Coin Sack and the Queen with him. Wario is then approached by a pirate named Captain Maple Syrup who persuades him to embark on a quest through 5 worlds to save the queen and restore order in the land. Wario's real intentions though is to take as much treasure as possible which is one of Wario's Cliché roles in the past.

Wario Land is one of the most spectacular looking titles in the Wii's arsenal of games. From the gorgeous level backdrops to the cleverly animated characters, it is all completely hand drawn. Everything is visually stunning and vibrant and if you didn't know any better you would say the game was running in HD. The cutscenes are also splendidly detailed and they follow in the theme of hand drawn animation. The two compliment each other quite nicely.

The one flaw that I found annoying in this department was that while the game was running in widescreen mode the extra screen resolution is hidden with a bunch of icons that don't add anything to the experience. The actual gameplay is constrained to a 4:3 resolution. Wario Land does run in 480p progressive scan mode which is a plus but it is a real shame this game didn't take advantage of the 16:9 widescreen mode.


A lack of a true wide-screen mode is a little disappointing

The controls of Wario Land: The shake dimension are quite straightforward which helps give you the feeling you are playing a retro title. The Wii remote is held on its side and the d-pad controls wario while 2 jumps and 1 offers the standard Wario shoulder charge move. Giving the remote a shake will create a tremble on the screen which will defeat enemies on the screen while also solving certain puzzles if used correctly. Some props and items can be used and manoeuvred by tilting the remote in the desired direction. While the controls are simple and aren't exactly innovative they are responsive and work superbly.

The audio in this game is nothing short of fantastic. Wario Land offers some memorable tunes and songs which are backed by the standard Nintendo flavour. The songs are quite refreshing and they fit the scenery and the rest of the game perfectly. The sound effects are nothing special but they are overwhelmed by the melodies of the sound track anyway.

The level design is very fluent and solid. For a platformer level design is a crucial component and The Shake Dimension does not fall short. There is a large variety in the levels as each level takes place in 1 of 5 continents and the scenery is drastically changed. The game is linear but there are still some puzzles to solve on the way. Nothing overly difficult but hard enough to provide some satisfaction.


Wario Land offers great level design that compliments the controls

Once you have reached the end of the level you are provided with the challenge to make it all the way back to the beginning within a certain time limit. The path is usually slightly altered to provide a bit of variety and it acts as a time trial of sorts. Once you finish that the level is finally finished.

Wario Land isn't exactly a long game. If you complete the game without collecting any treasures or finding any secrets the game should last you approximately a bit more than five hours. That is not to say there isn't any replay value. The game offers you challenges and treasures to find to try entice you to return for a second round. It adds a longer gameplay experience and it is just as fun as playing the standard story for the first time.

Overall Wario Land: The Shake Dimension is a refreshing break from the mainstream genres in the video game industry today. This isn't a game that is trying to innovate. It is a title that is trying to offer a good solid experience that plays on it's own strengths. Wario Land achieves this with fluent game-play, stunning hand drawn graphics and wonderfully designed levels. The lack of a true Wide-screen display was disappointed and the game could have done with a few extra hours added to it's length but they don't detract much from the overall experience. The developers placed plenty of effort in this title and they have pushed this from a decent game to a must buy.

Gameplay: 8/10
Fluent and precise side scrolling action can not be topped.

Graphics: 8/10
Beautifully hand drawn and vibrant graphics almost are HD quality. The lack of a true widescreen mode stopped it from scoring higher.

Sound: 8.5/10
The audio department have offered some memorable tunes that accompany the gameplay perfectly.

Difficulty: 5/10
It is on the easier side but the game still offers a challenge.

Value: 7/10
Wario Land is a short adventure that does offer a reason to replay but it could definitely offer a longer experience.

Overall: 8/10
A fun and beautiful old-school adventure that warrants attention.

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Sharpie The Gamer now on Twitter

Hi to the one (if that) person that reads this blog. I would like to take this time to apologise on the post drought that lasted the past couple of weeks. I was on holidays and to be honest with you I didn't really give a shit about posting during that time. Hey at least i'm honest.

It's not that I don't love posting on this site it is just that I think my enjoyment of the holidays take a higher priority than a low hit gaming blog like this. Don't get me wrong I still love this site though.

Anyway in case an instance like the post drought occurs again I decided to undergo some quick thinking to resolve that problem if it ever occurs again. The solution is for me to become a member on twitter. With twitter I can post even more pointless bullshit on here at any time with relative ease. Isn't that great!?

Hit the jump to continue:

So look out for my posts on twitter. I am not sure how long this charade will last but I am hoping to use it for a decent amount of time. I'm also not sure how regular the posts will be but I guess if it does get to an infrequent stage well then... I guess one is better than none. Wait is it?

Btw I am planning on putting a feed of the STG twitter on the right hand side of this page as a Widget so you can still see my Twitter posts on this site.

Once again thanks to that anonymous one viewer who keeps this site running. Well it can be two viewers on occasion.

Here is the direct link to the Sharpie The Gamer twitter: http://twitter.com/stgamer

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UGO acquires Video Game Site 1UP.com

In an event that has rocked the Video Game Media industry and many gamers in general, it has been confirmed that online media mogul UGO Entertainment have acquired the respected gaming site 1up.com. This event has not come out of the blue as many gaming sites have reported rumours of this move occuring for several weeks.

Normally something like this would not affect a website at all except for a couple of minor behind the scenes reworks. But this is not the case for beloved gaming site 1up.

As a result of Ziff Davis selling the network to UGO, 1up (and its other sites on the network) have suffered MAJOR EMPLOYEE LAYOFFS. Many experienced veterans and young rookies at the site have seen their jobs axed and are now looking for employment elsewhere. This has caused a major outcry from fans of the site who have threatened to now boycott the site all together.

In my opinion this move from UGO to purchase the network was not the right decision. Laying off some of the most beloved employees of the site and removing many fan favourite features due to their reworking strategy of the site was a stupid and idiotic idea. The site will now become generic and dull as 1up's very soul and identity has been axed and destroyed. People did not go there for just for basic news articles, they went there because of the brutal honesty of the authors on both news and reviews, they went there for the podcasts and other major features that UGO has decided to withdraw, piss on and shove away up their fat assholes.

I would like to send my best regards to the following people from 1up who are now unemployed and looking for work. I wish these people a happy, successful and prosperous future:

Adrian Frieg
Amy Mishra
Amy Moran
Andrea Garcia
Andrew Fitch
Andrew "Skip" Pfister
Anthony Gallegos
Cesar Quintero
Christina Rosa
CoyLou Steel
Derek Chinn
Doug Parsons
Eric Ellis
Giancarlo Varanini
Greg Ford
James "Milkman" Mielke
Jason Bertrand
Jason Wilson
Jervilyn Jaramillo
Justin Frechette
Leslie Gelfand
Marci Yamaguchi
Matt Chandronait
May Tong
Meredith Stowe
Michael Donahoe
Monique Convertito
Ndubuisi Madu
Nick Suttner
Norris Boothe
Philip Kollar
Rey Serrano
Robert Bowen
Rosemary Pinkham
Ryan O'Donnell
Ryan Scott
Shane Bettenhausen
Simon Cox
Tammy Ross
Tipler Ubbelohde

On a final note. I would personally like to say FUCK YOU to the owners of UGO ENTERTAINMENT. You have single handedly destroyed one of the most honest and respected gaming sites on the internet. Go suck your mum's hairy balls and shove your head back up her massive, loose, gaping hole!

Looks like I and many others are stuck with the wonderful Kotaku. That is definitely not a bad thing but having 1up combined with it was spectacular.

I refuse to support the shittest, most biased and money bribed sites Gamespot and IGN. They can GO AND GET FUCKED BY THEIR DAD!

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Sonic Unleashed Disappointment

I just thought I would quickly voice my disappointment on Sonic's latest gaming outing on all major consoles.

You all have no doubt heard of Sonic The Hedgehog and his latest game sonic unleashed. The game had a great amount of potential and for once the outlook of Sonic's future looked bright. It seemed Sega finally decided to get off their butts and create a game that the gaming community wanted.

BUT...

Once again Sega found a way to screw up like usual. They decided to come up with yet ANOTHER gimmick for their sonic games. A gimmick that takes out the whole pace of the game and renders it into a slow, useless and most of all unenjoyable beat-em-up. The worst thing about this that even though the game is divided evenly in day and night sections guess which sections go longer? That's right the night ones. That just PROVES how slow and god damn boring these parts to the game are.

It just frustrates me so much and I know I am not alone in thinking this that Sega just does not learn from their mistakes. Every time Sega messes with a simple formula it hasn't ever once worked for them. So why keep insisting on adding a gimmick? The fans hate them, the community hates them and most of all reviewers hate them. SO DON'T BUT THE PIECES OF SHIT IN THE GAME!!

The game has one section that absolutely shines and that is its fast and intense day time levels. It is everything the whole game should have been. It works on a basic premise and that is what sonic is all about. Speed! Sonic flying through stages at a frenetic pace is the whole foundation of the series. Sure in unleashed even those stages have some problems (Mainly with the slow reaction time while trying to jump) but they can be overlooked because those sections are so much fun to play.

How can a company fuck up making such a simple game. All the gaming community wants is a sonic game that is fast, smooth and linear. THAT IS ALL!

FOR FUCKS SAKE SEGA HOW MANY FAILED GAMES DOES IT TAKE FOR YOU TO GET THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULL THAT NOBODY LIKES THE PIECES OF SHIT SONIC GAMES YOU KEEP PRODUCING!!!



I can't wait to play the next sonic game where Sega gives sonic the ability to turn into an electric drill so he can burrow screws into pieces of wood. Hey don't laugh Sega will probably think that is a great idea and add it into the next game.

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